my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
