tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
