Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
