I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
