Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
