my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
