Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize