Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
