when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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