at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I got inside last night via doggy door
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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