She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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