She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
