I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
