I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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