Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
