im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Boobs are out for the taking
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
