Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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