Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
