All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize