so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
