North Korea, Best Korea!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
