he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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