KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
