please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
