too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
