I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
