Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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Do I have a choice?
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My liver just had a heart attack.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
