She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
then he tried to convert me to islam
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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