He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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