I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
