So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
