But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
