I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
