Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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