PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
