"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize