Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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