everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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