In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
