They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
