id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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