Four minutes until I can fart!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
