how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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