you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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