"it" just moved
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize