they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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