U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
