Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize