entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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