I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize