Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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