After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
high people should be assigned attendants
In America we eat man semen.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
