Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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