3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
