Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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