True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
