There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
time to smoke my breakfast
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
