Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
