...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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