And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
