so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
