why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
