Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I am midnight drunk by noon
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
