I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
