Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
