I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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