ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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