I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
