She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
