and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
