ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I didn't notice because vodka
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize